Welcome to The Lethargist Newsletter, where you will find my irreverent perspectives on religion, metaphysics, philosophy, psychology, science, and spirituality.
The great Taoist philosopher, Laozi, reminds us that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. In modern parlance, the only way to (metaphorically) eat an elephant is one bite at a time.
It is what it is, so take it in, and let it go, one breath at a time. That's a simple formula for facing our most challenging trials in life.
Inhale: “Ah.”
Exhale: “So.”
That's how Zen Master Shi Xingwu allegedly endured 11 years of hardship while imprisoned by his Chinese Communist tormentors.
Life inevitably imposes hardships; losses, illnesses, disappointments, betrayals, failures. Carefully laid plans go awry. We make mistakes. No matter how hard we try, or how brave we want to be, pain and suffering seem to find their way into everyone’s life.
During difficult times, our first impulse is to mentally retreat into memories of the past, or project our thoughts into fantasies about the future. In times of hardship, the present can feel unbearable. Yet, paradoxically, each present moment, experienced fully through one breath at a time, provides us with the only true refuge.
If everything else around us collapses, as long as we are still alive, our breathing endures. The breath of life is always right here, right now, unwaveringly reliable, always available. We usually inhale and exhale without ever thinking about it. However, when we bring our full attention to a single breath, something remarkable happens: The mind begins to quiet down, ever so slightly at first, and then increasingly, if we can maintain our focus.
By turning our attention inward and focusing on the breath, we return to the unfettered and immediate reality of our existence. Being in the present moment from breath to breath relieves our fears about tomorrow and regrets about yesterday. Through our breath, we affirm the reality of our existence and the fact that we are alive, right now.
Focusing on the breath during hardship is not about escaping discomfort or ignoring pain. It is not a trick that makes suffering disappear. Rather, it is a way to find a source of peace, a calm stability, in the midst of chaos. By breathing in, we can acknowledge our current challenges. By breathing out, we can allow our worries about them to pass. Each breath becomes an anchor that keeps us from being swept away by swirling thoughts or driven by an emotonal storm.
One breath at a time feels manageable, even when everything else seems overwhelming. We don't have to solve all our problems in a single moment. We don't have to deal with every incident, or foresee every outcome. We need only meet this breath, then the next, then the next, and so on. By doing that, we can bear an immense weight of pain and transform it into something far more manageable and human-sized.
Being present with our breath does not magically erase our guilt or grief, or take away our sadness, anger, or fears. Instead, it alters our identification of who we are with the emotions we are experiencing. Instead of feeling crushed by heavy stories about our pain, we can become curious about its textures, and what we experience as thoughts arise in the mind and emotions impact the body.
Sadness is a tightness in the throat, a heaviness in the chest, an outpouring of tears. Fear is a fluttering in the belly, a racing of the heart, an emerging scream. Anger is a tightness in the jaw, a clenching of fists, an urge to strike. We can simply breathe our way through these sensations, without resisting them, and notice something else: No feeling, no matter how intense it is, remains the same. Just like the breath itself, for every feeling there is both a coming and a going.
This insight about the impermanence of all things is one of the priceless gifts bestowed by paying attention. Realizing that even our deepest pain will eventually shift and move on can help us endure the hardest of times. Knowing that “this too shall pass,” we don't need to rush or force the process. We need only to stay present with ourselves, one breath at a time.
When we choose presence in the midst of difficulty, without turning away or fighting it, we cultivate resilience and compassion, along with an inner tranquility and wordless wisdom. These qualities are developed through small acts of courage, when we allow ourselves to feel pain instead of trying to numb it; when we take one more mindful step while feeling on the verge of collapse; when we breathe through one more day that our heart feels too broken to go on.
We cannot escape the fact that our lives are lived breath by breath. Painful times remind us that we are still alive. That’s a ground truth that is both harsh and illuminating. While we do not pick and choose our hardships, we surely can decide how we will meet them. Our choice is between fearful resistance, or being present with a fierce grace. It is through one breath at a time that we come home to ourselves.